I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
