I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
