but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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