"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
