Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
