Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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