I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
