porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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