Say something about gay babies.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
