And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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