Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
