whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
