don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
