Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
