I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
