That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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