so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
