Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
