Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
