Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
