But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
