i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
