Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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