i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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