no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
