all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
