His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
