i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
