The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
