I'm going to jail i love you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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