If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
