do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
