Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
