I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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