No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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