Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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