NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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