I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
