Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wish my penis had a tongue
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
