Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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