I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
