i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
