My friends, they love my intelligence
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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