no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
