I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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