You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
