I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
