We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
