you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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