your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
this beer tastes like vomit already
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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