Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
