this beer tastes like vomit already
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
