if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
